CHANGE

So this has been a rough week. After my weekend of running, I basically have not run much this week at all other than a few miles on Tuesday evening. I have had some knee pain that is either being caused by me wearing heels (since I have returned to work) or because I hardly run all week long and then on weekends I go out and pound a lot of mileage. Honestly, it is probably is a combination of the two.

Something needs to change. I had a talk with Vans because I complain to him that I *need* to run at night but I am physically and mentally drained from a day of working, commuting and being the mommy shuttle bus for two little ones. Add in making dinner, prepping lunches, washing clothes that have been subject to poo-namis, grocery shopping ... the list goes on and on. When can I run? Vans does his part around the house and often times forces me out reminding me to just start a run, if I am still beat after a mile, then I can come home.

I don't mean to complain (well, it is my blog and I can complain if I want to) but I know some of you out there battle the same struggles that I am battling right now and you some how find the time. It is possible. It might not happen every day the same way but I know that I need to carve out 30 minutes minimum of "me time" to run, cross-train whatever!

I've also reached out to Coach Seth. He's a "stop complaining" kind of guy but he is trying to work with my crazy schedule and daily routine. I am afraid curious to see what he comes up with because right now, any strength training I did over the summer is gone. However he is also battling some serious back pain and is scheduled to have surgery in December. Maybe he'll go easy on me then? (ha) He has a lot on his plate right now but I trust him enough to tell me what I need to do in order to be the best me I can be physically. He can't hold my hand and he can't force me out the door, but he can suggest the right routine for me and the rest is up to me. He is good at telling people to stop complaining and just do the work to get what you want.

Basically I want to be strong and fit enough that I am not exhausted come the end of the day. Vans pointed out this morning that I should really look at my nutrition to see if I am getting enough iron and protein and such. I admit, I am on the fly constantly right now that "a bar" is all too often a meal during the day. Working on that.

All day my energy is strong but come that long drive home with a tired (and cranky) Peanut and a hungry (and tired) Squeaker any "oomph" I had is gone. My girls need me, especially in the evenings. Normally I will do any running after Squeaker is down for the night. Adorned in my headlamp and reflective gear, I hit the streets while Vans gives the Peanut a bath. I am not enjoying this. I want snuggle time on the couch, I want to cook a healthy meal for us instead of reheating and microwaving stuff. I enjoyed cooking dinners for my family while I was home on maternity leave. I miss that.

So while driving to work this morning I did some thinking. Having a long commute lends itself to having random thoughts and ideas (just ask Vans). I have decided that I need to workout in the morning. For my own sake and for that of my girls. If I can find 30 minutes in the morning to run or lift then perhaps, that is the answer I am looking for right now. Of course, I say this forgetting that I am up feeding Squeaker at 10:30 pm, 2:00 am and 5 am most nights/mornings. However, why not after my 5 am wake can't I just hit the treadmill? I get up for the day at 5:45 anyway ... why not just stay up in an effort to have more quality time at home in the evenings?

I will probably put this plan into effect next week, after I run my half this weekend. I know there will be mornings where Squeaker will be "off" and not waking at her usual times or the Peanut will be up (she is still the worst sleeper) but I can deal. I know this isn't forever. Squeaker will sleep (some day)and the Peanut? Well, she stays asleep MOST of the time ... when she doesn't, I'll let Vans deal. :-)

What matters most are my girls and the time I get to spend with them. I just stumbled across this photo today ... it was taken March 2010 at the Way Too Cool 50K:

March 2010 So tiny. So QUIET.

Now she seems so grown up to me. She will talk your ear off if you let her and she never lets you get  a word in either. Hmmm, sounds like the making of a good lawyer to me?!

 

 October 2011 Feisty and

Opinionated

Just amazes me how fast she is growing and I don't want to miss a second of it. I am already sad being back at work with the girls being away from me all day long. Granted I enjoy adult time but nothing compares to spending time with my girls.

Squeaker is just finishing up her last week with a private nanny-share. Next week she finally attends the same daycare that the Peanut is going to right now. What does that mean? It means (hopefully) a quicker drop off and pick up  for us but it also means that most likely she will get her first cold. It is inevitable. Daycare is a germ fest.

Right now she's enjoying the nanny and the company of another little baby .... it is quiet. Boy is she in for a shocker come Monday!

Squeaker (on the right) and her buddy out for a ride

Story time!

Toy thief. She snags the toys from her friend constantly.

Yup, just seeing those photos makes me excited to be home more in the evenings.