Something needs to change. I had a talk with Vans because I complain to him that I *need* to run at night but I am physically and mentally drained from a day of working, commuting and being the mommy shuttle bus for two little ones. Add in making dinner, prepping lunches, washing clothes that have been subject to poo-namis, grocery shopping ... the list goes on and on. When can I run? Vans does his part around the house and often times forces me out reminding me to just start a run, if I am still beat after a mile, then I can come home.
I don't mean to complain (well, it is my blog and I can complain if I want to) but I know some of you out there battle the same struggles that I am battling right now and you some how find the time. It is possible. It might not happen every day the same way but I know that I need to carve out 30 minutes minimum of "me time" to run, cross-train whatever!
I've also reached out to Coach Seth. He's a "stop complaining" kind of guy but he is trying to work with my crazy schedule and daily routine. I am
Basically I want to be strong and fit enough that I am not exhausted come the end of the day. Vans pointed out this morning that I should really look at my nutrition to see if I am getting enough iron and protein and such. I admit, I am on the fly constantly right now that "a bar" is all too often a meal during the day. Working on that.
All day my energy is strong but come that long drive home with a tired (and cranky) Peanut and a hungry (and tired) Squeaker any "oomph" I had is gone. My girls need me, especially in the evenings. Normally I will do any running after Squeaker is down for the night. Adorned in my headlamp and reflective gear, I hit the streets while Vans gives the Peanut a bath. I am not enjoying this. I want snuggle time on the couch, I want to cook a healthy meal for us instead of reheating and microwaving stuff. I enjoyed cooking dinners for my family while I was home on maternity leave. I miss that.
So while driving to work this morning I did some thinking. Having a long commute lends itself to having random thoughts and ideas (just ask Vans). I have decided that I need to workout in the morning. For my own sake and for that of my girls. If I can find 30 minutes in the morning to run or lift then perhaps, that is the answer I am looking for right now. Of course, I say this forgetting that I am up feeding Squeaker at 10:30 pm, 2:00 am and 5 am most nights/mornings. However, why not after my 5 am wake can't I just hit the treadmill? I get up for the day at 5:45 anyway ... why not just stay up in an effort to have more quality time at home in the evenings?
I will probably put this plan into effect next week, after I run my half this weekend. I know there will be mornings where Squeaker will be "off" and not waking at her usual times or the Peanut will be up (she is still the worst sleeper) but I can deal. I know this isn't forever. Squeaker will sleep (some day)and the Peanut? Well, she stays asleep MOST of the time ... when she doesn't, I'll let Vans deal. :-)
What matters most are my girls and the time I get to spend with them. I just stumbled across this photo today ... it was taken March 2010 at the Way Too Cool 50K:
March 2010 So tiny. So QUIET.
Now she seems so grown up to me. She will talk your ear off if you let her and she never lets you get a word in either. Hmmm, sounds like the making of a good lawyer to me?!
October 2011 Feisty and
Just amazes me how fast she is growing and I don't want to miss a second of it. I am already sad being back at work with the girls being away from me all day long. Granted I enjoy adult time but nothing compares to spending time with my girls.
Squeaker is just finishing up her last week with a private nanny-share. Next week she finally attends the same daycare that the Peanut is going to right now. What does that mean? It means (hopefully) a quicker drop off and pick up for us but it also means that most likely she will get her first cold. It is inevitable. Daycare is a germ fest.
Right now she's enjoying the nanny and the company of another little baby .... it is quiet. Boy is she in for a shocker come Monday!
Squeaker (on the right) and her buddy out for a ride
Toy thief. She snags the toys from her friend constantly.
Yup, just seeing those photos makes me excited to be home more in the evenings.