Mind games

Marathon neurosis starts now. Normally it is the week OF the marathon that I start to feel those phantom aches and pains imagining that all my training has gone out the window because what? My big toe hurts?

Here we are at least 2+ weeks out from the California International Marathon and I am feeling every twinge and ache in my body. My mind is just going insane with thoughts of "oh no! X hurts. I can't run CIM" but who am I kidding? I will run it. No matter what. I am also surprised at the way my mind is currently working because I convinced myself all throughout my training that CIM was not the "goal" but merely a training run to get me to the Way Too Cool 50K in March.

So why am I so upset? I am seriously having thoughts of not finishing CIM and bonking like I did back in 2005 (a memory I had hoped was erased from my brain). I will not go there just like I will NOT get sick. No way jose. Not me despite the fact when I go to pick up my Peanut every other little peanut comes running to me with snot oozing out of their little noses! Sigh. Daycare. Gotta love it right?

CIM is an important race for me. I enjoy it and I want to be able to run it with ease. I am not racing on December 6th. I am purely out for a stroll to get some decent mileage. I was telling myself before that if I finished in over 4 hours so be it. I didn't care. Who am I kidding? I DO care and I WANT to finish faster than last year but some how I think last year I was in better shape. I swear nursing and marathon training combined really has extra benefits that no one is telling me. :-)

Ah well. The countdown begins I suppose.