Thursday, November 19, 2009

Life happens and sometimes it sucks

What is that saying? When it rains it pours? Well I guess you can say it is shooting buckets at us over here. Sigh. I have been battling some tummy troubles lately. I thought it was something I had eaten or perhaps I had been glutened by something but alas, there seems to be no end in sight and now Vans is complaining of some tummy troubles as well. The Peanut always seems to be battling something lately too but for her I usually suspect teething as a culprit. I think I am too old to blame teething huh? Ah well. Praying for relief before the California International Marathon. Right now rice, ginger tea and some egg whites are my friends.

To add to my already exciting depressing post (if you're still reading I am impressed), I think I am in a rut. A life rut. I will be the first to say that I am thankful to have a job in this economy and not only a job that is close to my home and to the Peanut's daycare but I have a boss that I genuinely like. He is "child friendly" if you will meaning when the Peanut is sick blowing snot bubbles or daycare is having an event, I am generally "allowed" to go. However, I do not like my job. I don't. I do not enjoy what I do and I don't think I ever really have.

I still hold fast to my very first 'adult' job working for PBS and nothing, nothing I have done since then has ever compared. I work in the legal field. I have worked in the legal field since 2004. I hate it. I am not an attorney nor do I ever want to become an attorney. I hate sitting at a desk all day long and I hate taking the blame for every mistake because attorneys "don't make mistakes. staff makes mistakes" which is the mentality every attorney I have ever worked for has. That is the job of a paralegal. Take the blame and don't bother trying to defend yourself.

So many times each day I wish I had either A. stayed in the television/media field despite the horrid employment rate in that field or B. chosen another area that involves some sort of physical fitness. I had lofty dreams at times of becoming a Personal Trainer or something along those lines. I have dabbled in the area of training various groups to complete triathlons or half marathons. I enjoyed it immensely just not while simultaneously working a full time job. Sigh. I need to suck it up I know. There are hundreds of people out there who would kill to have my job. I know this. I do.

I also know nothing is going to land in my lap. I have never been that lucky and I never will. I have always had to work for what I wanted and I worked hard. Such is life.

Sometimes life happens and sometimes it just sucks.

1 comment:

  1. I hear you girlfriend! Life does manage to suck sometimes, but as you said, you are more fortunate than others.

    I've had many a pity party, last week in fact, and the key is to be able to say the party is over, time to clean up and move on.

    Hang in there, take pleasure where you can.

    Hope you feel better soon!!! It really sucks when you're in training and you don't feel good.

    Stay dirty!