Thursday, September 6, 2012


Today's post is long over due. I know over the last few years, the Trailmomma blog has changed. What started out as a goofy fun loving "beginner" trail running blog morphed into a "beginner" ultra training blog and eventually a child rearing blog with some running (road and trail) sprinkled in for good measure.

I have been running. I just have not been blogging about it. Most times I forget my camera or the run itself is not that memorable or exciting. Usually I am by myself except for the few occasions when I am lucky enough to run with TiggerT or Pigeon.

However, this last month or so I have been running a lot more. Mostly by myself which has allowed my mind to wander and reflect on the last nine months of my life. I will warn you now, feel free to click away as this post won't be anything but a reflection on what changes my life has gone through lately and where I am now and where I want to be.

Almost nine months ago I was laid off from a very unsatisfying job that left me pretty much self conscious, afraid and honestly, stupefied. I had been with them for five years and even though the last year or so things were "unhealthy" (to say the least), I stuck it out because I thought I was "lucky" to have a job. What I now realize, is that it was a blessing that I was laid off. I would never have left on my own and I would have endured countless negative comments and energy thrown my way.

Of course nine months ago I didn't see it this way. I was nervous, scared and worried we wouldn't survive. I have a wonderful family (both by blood and by marriage) who supported us in more ways than I can list and who I owe a world of thanks.

♥ They thank you too. ♥

I spent the first month of my "vacation" running. A lot. Since TiggerT has a flexible schedule she called me often to run. That poor girl. I can only imagine what she must have been thinking on those runs. I would just rant and rave, complain and talk non-stop about what I had just been through. I would throw out crazy ideas about "trying new professions" and "doing something completely different." I even went and had an interview at a local college to discuss what it would take to change careers. TiggerT was awesome. She listened and told me to be patient. Let things be and who knows what would happen or where life would take me. She never once told me what to do and for that I am grateful.

Over the course of the summer I got to experience some pretty awesome things. I was able to spend some quality time with my two girls twice a week every week while also allowing them to continue going to daycare so as not to completely disrupt their lives.

Peanut at school
Squeaker at school
At first it was rough. I am not a "stay at home mom" type and I give all stay at home moms many kudos. It is a difficult, selfless job that requires creativity, patience and the ability to tune out a lot. Squeaker was nursing for half the time so in a way, that made our bonding experience much closer because I was able to toss the pump and just be with her. The Peanut learned to be patient and self sufficient because of that as well and she also developed an amazing attitude and relationship towards her sister. I watched their relationship blossom every day together. Peanut is an amazing big sister with an even more amazing heart.

I was able to go on many trips that I might not have been able to go on before. We had fun in Tahoe (many times), I went to Sunriver Oregon to run a marathon and relax with some great friends and I was able to spend a lot of time with Jersey Dad and Jersey Mom when they came out for their annual visit. Never, never will I have this much time to enjoy so much. I was and am, truly blessed.

At some point over the summer, Squeaker stopped nursing and I started trail running more in my own neighborhood and enjoying it. TiggerT and I started running the Ridge Loop (of Death). I really like this run. It has a mix of everything, some single track (minimal, but some), some fire roads, some pavement and lots of up and down hills with very little shade coverage. It is here that I do most of my thinking.

It was on one of these runs that I decided in July to be part of the Breakout Fitness's Breakout Body session which is 3 months long. It is kind of like a "biggest loser" type of thing without all the competition. This session, Coach Diane decided to do a gluten free and vegan program which is what I wanted. I already am gluten free and vegan so it wasn't a huge change for me in that regard. What was a huge change however was strength training, TRX and core work four to five times a week (in addition to my running). She also requires that I write down everything I eat which really opened my eyes to how much I snack throughout the day. With two kids, that is very easy to do (picking pieces off a kid's plate DOES have calories despite what your brain tells you).

Come on mom ....
have some food!
I have to say, I am in the best shape of my life right now. I should be when I am able to workout five days a week with Diane and then add an hour to two hours of running on various days as well. This also will not last forever and I am actually very sad to see this part of my summer go away. Working out and running gives me sanity and time to contemplate things going on in my life. This will all change in a week.

Bye bye daily running!

What is happening in a week? In one week I start my new job. Yes, I got a job. I actually secured a job back in early June but they didn't "need me" until mid-September. How is that for awesome? I feel like I am in college again having a job lined up for me at the end of the summer. This new company has been on my "wish list" for years as it comes with a reputation that can't be beat. What is even more amazing is that they found me and encouraged me to apply. I applied in April. Interviewed all through May (they have an extensive interview process) and then was offered the job in June!

I am excited. I am nervous. I am also scared and sad. I have really grown accustom to being a stay at-home wife/mom but financially that is not something we can manage. I jokingly tell Vans that I would make a great "Trophy Wife" for him but he just rolls his eyes. I guess I can't persuade him.

I have spent the summer really turning my family around health wise. It has been wonderful to have the time during the day to prepare and make really healthy meals, grocery shop on a moment's notice and never have a pile of laundry. I am slowly removing all the plastic tupperware containers from our house and encouraging us to use glass containers to avoid the toxins heated plastic can let out. Vans pretty much eats vegan/vegetarian at home and both Peanut and Squeaker have been introduced to all sorts of new vegetables, grains and meals. They may not like it, but they try it (most times).

What are you making for dinner this time mom?

These are the things I am going to miss.  My new commute is not going to be pretty and we will not be getting home until late. Luckily (or unluckily?), the four of us will be commuting together to and from work/school. Sadly, we will be getting home so late that it will literally be dinner, bath and bed for the girls ... which means I am going to have to have something for dinner in mind. Our departure in the mornings will be early as well which means breakfasts to go packed and lunches packed as well. Lots and lots of planning and being organized ahead. Also, I need the ability to just let go if something is not going to go as planned which is most likely going to be the case most some days.

Just chill out mom. Relax.

As for working out, I will be going from two hours a day to realistically (hopefully?) one hour a day. I plan to keep my strength training classes (for now) with Diane because I love them, they are effective and right now it is my only option since it will be too late to run after work. Running will have to happen on weekends and the occasional evening at the track with TiggerT if the evening goes well.

I suspect a rough road ahead full of new adjustments and new routines. I guess just accepting that is half the battle right?

Still, I am excited for the future. This new company is a dream come true and the people I have met there so far are super nice and they seem to really value their employees. I am eager to get my brain functioning again in a way that is not focused around dishwashers, vacuums or baby wipes.

Still, I will miss thinking about baby wipes every once in a while ... these girls are pretty awesome.

Live Life
Love Life
♥ Thank you to all who have supported us these last nine months. ♥

1 comment:

  1. Ahh, I am happy for you...not only for your new job, but that you had such an amazing summer oppurtunity with your family :)
    I am sure there will be an adjustment period, but I hope it goes smoothly and there aren't too many mishaps!
    I love love love that last pic of you and Vans, you have such a great genuine smile!